An interesting article in Psychological Science illustrated the negative effect of being romantically desperate on your chances of being desired. The study used 156 undergraduates in a speed dating scenario, where they had several 4-minute speed dates, after each of which they completed a questionnaire of how much they desired their speed dating partner.
If a subject desired all of his or her partners, there was a strong negative correlation (r = -.41) between that desire and the desire expressed by the subject’s partners toward him or her. In other words, those who scored high on desire for lots of their speed dating partners scored low on desire expressed by the partners.
If a subject desired a particular speed dating partner uniquely, there was a small but significant correlation (r = .14) between that partner’s desire toward the subject. There was a larger correlation (r = .20) with the “chemistry” felt between the partners.
One might suppose men might be less sensitive to women’s romantic desperation, but there were no sex differences. The study also controlled for attractiveness, so the result can’t “be explained by objectively unattractive people liking everyone and being disliked” (Eastwick, Finkel, Mochon, & Ariely, 2007, p. 318).
So—don’t be a desperate dater!
Eastwick, P. W., Finkel, E. J., Mochon, D., & Ariely, D. (2007). Selective versus unselective romantic desire. Psychological Science, 18(4), 317-319.
Technorati Tags: psychology, social psychology
